Develop Effective Communication Skills

Effective communicating is a powerful tool to get the information you want, establish a closer relationship with someone and motivate others to take action. Here are ways to develop your communication skills

1.      Thoughts:  You have to be careful about what you think: 

Watch your thoughts, they become words.

Watch your words, they become actions.
Watch your actions, they become habits.
Watch your habits, they become your character.
Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.

Think precisely and carefully about what you want to convey before you say anything.

2.      Attitude: Smile and be friendly.  Be sincere in your words and be respectful to the people you talk to. While you are listening, be patient and do not interrupt.

3.      Listening (acknowledge, acceptance and appreciation): Listen carefully to understand and ask questions to clarify your doubts. Making eye contact is a way to show that you are paying attention and listening. Whenever necessary write things down. Be engaged and pay a compliment.

4.      Expressing: The important thing is to convey the message clearly, creatively, and effectively. When a message is not understood fully, things will not get done accordingly and it is a waste of time and effort.

5.      Body language: According to Allan Pease, author of the book “Body Language”, you are perceptive or intuitive when you are able to know, say, someone is telling a lie because his or her body language and their spoken words do not agree. When a person is totally open and honest, he or she will hold one or both palms out to the other person.  When you cross your arms with eyebrows slightly turn down, it means you disapprove of the other person and are not interested in the conversation.

6.      Assertiveness: Tell the person and say what is in your mind because if you don’t speak up nobody will know what you want.  Do not beat around the bush but go right to the point.  Say succinctly how you feel and be ready to say no and not just to please someone. Don’t keep things to yourself because it doesn’t do anyone any good.

7.      Right time, right place, right mood: Choose the right place and the right time for effective and meaningful communication. In business, such as in a hotel setting, morning is briefing time in the general manager‘s office. What is the mood of the person that you wish to communicate with? Go ahead if he or she is in the right frame of mind. Back off if the person is in a foul mood.  

8.      Negotiation: Negotiate to create a win-win situation so that everyone is happy. Find out the needs of each other by asking questions so that an amicable solution can be reached and accepted by all.

9.      Communication at home: The key is to listen more and talk less. Silence is the key to avoid an argument because nobody wins in it. Listen more to your children as they just want to tell and feel better.

10.  Asking questions: There is a lot to gain by asking relevant questions. When you ask you get the information you want. You establish a better relationship with the other person when you find out about his or her interests. When you ask the right questions you are more likely to persuade or motivate others to get things done effectively.

Good communication does not mean that you have to speak in perfectly formed sentences and paragraphs. It isn't about slickness. Simple and clear go a long way.

John Kotter