10 Steps to Overcome Shyness

According to a news item in the New Straits Times, Tan Sri Hasmy Agam, the Executive Chairman of the Institute of Diplomacy and Foreign Relations, says most Malaysian diplomats are handicapped by a poor command of English and they are too shy to speak up or make presentations. How do you overcome shyness? Here are the ten steps:


1. Self-esteem: One of the reasons why you are shy is because you have low self-esteem. You focus too much attention on your weaknesses instead of what you do best. It is good to identify your weaknesses, but you have to do something about it in order to boost your self-esteem.

2. Personal weaknesses: What are your weaknesses and what can you do about it? Eliminating your weaknesses will increase your self- esteem and self-confidence. Weaknesses can be bad habits or a lack of certain skills. Take gradual steps to replace your bad habits with good ones. If you are lacking in certain skills then the best thing to do is to make an effort to acquire the necessary skills as soon as possible.

3. Skill learning: As an example, the diplomats are weak in English. The best thing they can do is to take intensive courses to brush up their English and at the same time involve themselves more often in situations where they have to use English. There is no other way to master a language except to use the language every day in order to be proficient.

4. Build self-confidence: You will be more confident about your self when you have taken steps to acquire the skills you need and replace bad habits with good ones. You will appreciate and value yourself more because you will have higher self-esteem

5. Forget yourself in the company of others: Now that you feel good about yourself you are ready to mix around with people. The most important thing to remember is not to think of yourself in the company of others. In other words, don’t be too self-conscious.

6. Don’t think of your weaknesses: The other point is not to look at yourself negatively. Always put yourself in the best light.

7. Don’t worry: The last thing to forget is about the mistakes you have made in previous gatherings. Relax and be cool, calm, and collected.

8. Focus on the conversation: In the company of others, focus your attention on the topic of conversation and participate actively

9. Talk about the other person: The other thing that you should do is to encourage the other person in front of you to talk more about himself or herself. While listening, look for pointers to compliment him or her.

10. Be sociable: As you get used to meeting people you should mix around more often. The rules are still the same; you forget about yourself and just participate in the conversation and encourage others to talk about their interests and you look for things to say some nice words about them. You will find that not only you are no longer shy but you are getting popular in the company of others.
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Do you think this article is helpful to overcome your shyness?