7 Things Parents Should Tell Their Kids Every Day

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There are many ways to say “I love you” to your children, without actually uttering those three small but mighty words. Below are my seven favorite alternatives, which also double-duty as “Empowering Life Philosophies” for raising kids who feel resilient — kids who feel deep inside themselves that they have what it takes to bounce back from life’s assorted (and sordid!) challenges.

After all, let’s face it. No matter how hard we all try to travel a bump-free path to happiness, life will always present its share of surprise potholes.

1. “I believe in you.”

I've told my 3-year-old son, Ari, “I believe in you” so frequently, that he’s started to boomerang these words right back at me.

Funny example: The other day I was ransacking our apartment for my keys. I collapsed on the sofa, frustrated because I couldn’t find them. Suddenly I felt a tug, tug, tug on my yoga pants. It was Ari.

“Mommy,” he says, “I know you can find your keys. I believe in you.”

His words were just the booster shot of adrenaline I needed to stand up and try pulling the sofa away from the wall for a quick peek behind it. Eureka! I found my lost keys!

Yep! I greatly believe in the propulsion power of “I believe in you!”

2. “Never give up.”

Actually, when I say these words to my son, I say them three times in a row, in a silly, exaggerated, Winston-Churchill-type voice: “Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!”

This makes Ari giggle. And laughter is a great stress reliever, which continues to move him forward.

Recently, however, I realized these words need an important addendum. My son and I were putting together a Spiderman puzzle. Ari kept trying to squeeze the wrong puzzle piece into an empty puzzle space — while repeating: “Never give up! Never give up! Never give up!”

I corrected him by saying: “Never give up! Never give up! Never give up! Unless of course, you’re doing something which might be wrong — then you need to stop, think and come up with a new strategy!”

“A new strategy?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said, “If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. If nothing changes, nothing changes. So … you need to look for a new way of doing it, a new strategy, to get new results.”

Ari now recognizes the importance of never giving up, while also being open to seeking new strategies.

3. “Practice is how we learn.”

This phrase reminds Ari not to be upset at himself for slip-ups and downfalls. I like to say this not only during a challenging activity but also before, as a warmly worded warm-up.

4. "Every expert started out as a beginner — just like you."

I feel it’s essential to remind Ari that people who are awesome at something didn’t start off awesome.

I want my son to grow up knowing that it’s OK to make mistakes. It’s OK to fail. It’s OK to struggle. What’s not OK is to think that mistakes, failure, and struggle are permanent states of being! They’re simply a bridge you need to keep traveling across to get yourself to “The Land of Awesome.” I want my son to grow up knowing that persistence, patience, and effort are all far more important than perfection.

5. “Failure is not an option.”

I received this mantra via one of Ari’s talking ninja toys. When I first heard the toy utter this phrase, I said: “OOOooooooh I love this toy! Failure is not an option! That’s a good one!”

Ari and I then talked a bit about what this phrase means. Now whenever Ari is having trouble doing something, he’ll Ninja-Up and announce: “Failure is not an option!”

6. “You gotta learn from every oopsy and ouchie.”

Each time Ari spills something, breaks something, drops something, kicks something, hurts something — I repeat for him this same little verbal ditty: “You gotta learn from every oopsy and ouchie.” I then ask him to specifically tell me what he learned from whatever the oopsy or ouchie might be — and we talk it through.

I let him know we all make copies and ouchies. We just have to try not to make the same oopsy or ouchie more than once.

7. “You are safe and loved.”

I recently added this phrase into my “Resiliency Words Tool Kit” after doing a hypnosis session with my friend. She was trying to put me into a relaxed emotional state. Her strategy? She asked me to remember a time in my childhood when I felt safe and loved. Hoo boy! As soon as she requested this, I tensed up instead of calming down! I couldn’t remember a clear, definitive time in my childhood where I felt safe and loved.

Afterward, I thought about how important it is to raise kids to feel safe and loved. It bolsters their self-esteem and encourages courage.

I’ve now added the words “You are safe and loved!” into my goodnight ritual for my son. I whisper these words softly in his ear before he drifts off to sleep. “You are safe and loved.” I truly hope this quiet whisper creates a loud, infinite echo that lasts him long into adulthood.

Source: 7 Things Parents Should Tell Their Kids Every Day

How to Work Out with Your Kids

This is a guest post by Nancy Parker:

Finding time to fit in a workout when you’re a busy parent can seem like an insurmountable task. When there already aren’t enough hours in the day, setting aside one more to hit the gym is near impossible. However working out doesn’t have to be something that is confined to the gym, and you can fit in a good workout that will help tone you up and slim you down using time spent with your kids.

1.      Tag – Who says tag is just for kids? Your kids will love it if you join them in their daily game of tag, and you can use that opportunity to spend time with the kids and get in some sprints around the playground chasing after them to tag them, or running away from them to avoid being tagged “it” again. Of course, as you get faster you may have to slow down and let them tag you from time to time!

2.      Monkey Bars – When you were a kid using monkey bars to tone your arms was probably the last thing on your mind. However, if you think about it, monkey bars are the perfect piece of playground equipment for toning your biceps and triceps and adding to your upper body strength. Whether you’re swinging across from rung to rung or doing pull-ups or chin-ups, your arms are going to benefit.

3.      Park benches – Park benches are incredibly versatile pieces of equipment designed to help you do far more than just sit and watch the kids run around on the playground. Instead of simply sitting on one while the kids play use your time on the bench to do some tricep dips, step-ups, or push-ups. You’ll never look at a park bench the same way again.

4.      Get obsessed with cardio – You don’t have to get stuck on a treadmill, elliptical, or stationary bike to get in a good cardio workout. Instead rollerblade, bike ride, walk or run with your kids at the park. Switching up the types of cardio exercise you’re getting will constantly challenge your muscles and help you stay in shape.

5.      Jump rope – Jump roping is one of those things that seem to come effortlessly to kids; however, it’s not as easy as an adult when you haven’t picked one up since your grade school days. Invest in a few jump ropes and jump rope with your kids. You’ll blast through calories, and you’ll improve your agility in the process. 

Making time for your health is important as a parent, and shouldn’t be neglected. However, if you can’t seem to find the time to hit the gym then use time spent playing with your kids to work out instead. After all, your kids want you to be active so you can keep up and play with them.

Author Bio

Nancy Parker is a professional full-time nanny and she loves to write about a wide range of subjects like health, Parenting, Child Care, Babysitting, nanny background check tips, etc. You can reach her @ nancy.parker015 @ gmail.com

P.L.E.A.S.E. Spend Time with Your Child

The family is both the fundamental unit of society as well as the root of culture. It ... is a perpetual source of encouragement, advocacy, assurance, and emotional refueling that empowers a child to venture with confidence into the greater world and to become all that he can be.
MARIANNE E. NEIFERT

This is the front-page headline from a local newspaper, New Sunday Times, in Malaysia:

CRY FOR HELP

FORSAKEN: The many calls by depressed children to 15999 childlines show that parents are not giving them the support they need.

According to the paper, it’s worrying because it is a reflection of parental neglect. The majority of calls to childline came from children seeking support for depression, loneliness, emotional neglect, stress, and boredom.

If they can be supported by a stranger through a telephone conversation, you, as parents, can do much more. It is easy and effective. All you need to do is to change your daily habit. Just do it  P.L.E.A.S.E.

Present: Are you spending time with your child? Think of a balanced lifestyle and don’t take work home. Your family always comes first. Devote quality time with your child. Your presence allows your child to talk and confide in you easily. 

Listen: When your child is talking to you, leave aside what you are doing and listen attentively. Your child just wants to air his or her grievances. Your child will be happy if you just listen. They know you care when you listen.

Eat: Eating together is a sign that the family is happy together. It fosters closeness, warmness, and harmony. Your child will love it. Eat talk and laugh together is the simplest thing and the best thing you can do at home for your child. Moreover, eating simple food at home is good for health.

Appreciate: Show appreciation for what your child can do. Reward him or her for doing the right things or putting in an effort to achieve better results at school. In turn, you help develop self-confidence in your child. It is an effective way to pay attention to your child and telling them what is right or wrong. Your child will not feel neglected.

Switch: Turn off technology at home. Switch off the TV, internet connection, smartphone, and other gadgets. Instead, read while your child is doing homework.  You are giving moral support to your child and show your care for them. You can also assist in the homework to reduce their stress. 

Encourage: Speak positive words to boost his or her confidence and praise them for their achievements. These are what you can do to support them in what they do. Your child will know your care because you take note of their progress in life.

Do you think you can do it for your child, P.L.E.A.S.E.?

The Healing Power of Touch

Touch

Whether it’s a gentle squeeze or a big hug, we all know that a parent’s touch can be comforting. But science shows that it can actually do wonders for your health too. “Touch can calm the stress response and lower blood pressure,” says James Nicolai, physician and medical director of the Andrew Weil, M.D. Integrative Wellness Program at Miraval Resorts. “And that has a positive effect on the entire body.”

That’s particularly true among children, says Tiffany Field, director of the Touch Research Institute at the University of Miami. In a series of studies, Field and her researchers showed that babies and kids who received regular massages from their parents reaped a number of benefits, such as better sleep, less anxiety, and a stronger immune system. “What’s more, it also helps strengthen the bond between parent and child,” she says.

Like exercise and proper nutrition, regular massage and touch is an integral part of staying healthy, says Field. Read on for more reasons why you should get touchy-feely.

 1. It eases stress. “Kids love to touch; there’s a lot of hugging and wrestling,” says Nicolai. “Intuitively, they know it helps them relax and makes them happy.” Research backs this up: A study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry found that children who received a massage had lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as less anxiety and depression than those who watched a relaxing video.

2. It fends off colds. A snuggle a day may keep those sniffles away: Touch has been shown to raise the body’s production of natural killer cells, the immune cells that help protect against viruses, explains Field. What’s more, researchers from Cedars-Sinai Medical Center showed that massages increased levels of cold-fighting white blood cells and lowered amounts of a hormone linked to the stress hormone cortisol.

3. It can improve breathing. According to a study published in the Journal of Pediatrics, asthmatic children who were massaged daily for 20 minutes before bed had better control over the condition and breathed easier after a month than those who received relaxation therapy. Stress can tighten airways, which constricts breathing, say experts. That’s why regular touch may help ease wheezing and coughing.

4. It improves sleep. “Massage has been shown to help kids fall asleep faster and snooze more soundly,” says Field. And that has a big payoff in the classroom: Researchers from the Touch Research Institute found that kids who received this touch therapy were better behaved and scored higher on attention and cooperation tests than those who didn’t.

Massage 101
To reap these benefits, consider giving your child regular massages. “In our studies, we instructed parents to give their children massages for 15 minutes every evening before bedtime,” says Field.

To start, figure out the right level of pressure: Studies suggest that a moderate amount is best. “Research shows that a very gentle massage doesn’t have the same effect,” says Field. “Kids can get ticklish from a very light touch.” She recommends practicing on yourself or your spouse first to determine the appropriate amount of pressure.

Then massage your baby or young child with gliding strokes on his or her shoulders, back, arms and legs. As your kid grows older, you can incorporate different types of techniques and include his or her hands and
feet. Ask your child what he or she likes, and if he or she is experiencing any discomfort.

“Older kids and teens tend to not like their parents giving them massages,” says Field. Rub their shoulders while they sit in a chair, or make them an appointment with a massage therapist.

Think your child would benefit from a deep-tissue massage? Avoid doing it yourself, warns Kiera Nagle, a licensed massage therapist with the Pacific College of Oriental Medicine. “If done incorrectly, this type of firm bodywork can harm muscles and nerves,” she says. Seek out a licensed massage therapist with experience in pediatric massage, says Nagle, and remain in the room during the treatment. Bonus: Most therapists are happy to give you massage tips that you can use at home.

How often do you hug your kids? Do they accept your hugs or squirm away?

10 Money Matters to Teach Your Children

We, as parents, have made many gains and losses in personal finance. It is our duty to share what we know so that our children can take advantage of the knowledge to invest wisely and also to avoid the pitfalls. I think the following are the 10 most important things our children should know and follow faithfully.

1. The power of compound interest: Start to save early and take advantage of compound interest Just look at the following illustration taken from Money Sense Getting Smart with Your Money, a book published by Credit Counseling And Debt Management Agency:



2. The danger of credit and credit cards: Credit cards are double-edged swords. They can serve you or ruin you financially. The most important thing is to avoid credit. Credit means incurring debt and paying very high interest. It can easily lead to bankruptcy. Treat your credit cards like cash. Keep a dollar for every dollar charged to your card so that at the end of a month you can pay the credit card bills fully and promptly.


3. Avoid get rich quick schemes: It is always too good to be true. Why should the person approach you? He could have made more money by himself instead of asking you to join in.

4. The importance of working hard for financial success: To be successful and ahead of others it is necessary for you to be innovative and creative. You can run your own business or you can be employed, you need to have unique and original ideas and work hard at it. The money will follow. Money is the by-product of your productivity.

5. Long-term investment: It is important to invest and hold an investment for many years. It will even out the rise and fall of the market Landed property is one of the best investments Land is scarce; it appreciates over time, it is good to rent out and collect rental or as a roof over your head. Be careful to choose a good location. Invest and hold shares of companies that are trusted brands. Collect dividends, get bonus and rights issues and let the value of shares appreciates over time

6. Avoid gambling: The root cause of this problem or bad habit is greed, one of the human weaknesses. Once you are addicted, it is a one-way ticket to hell.

7. The power of networking: Get to know professional people in the field of finance. Learn a thing or two from them. The more you know the more resourceful you are to make wise decisions pertaining to financial issues.

8. Save up for a big-ticket item: Instead of getting it on credit and incurring interest, save up and buy in cash. .In a way, it is to avoid impulse buying and on second thought you may not want the item after all.

9. Live within your budget: Children should budget their pocket money or live within their means when they have started working. The budget should include an amount set aside as savings besides the normal monthly expenses. The most important thing is to avoid overspending. It means incurring debt. It is very difficult to get out of debt.

10. Cultivate the habit of savings: Inculcate the habit of savings. The amount is not important but the habit is. Savings serve many purposes. The money can be put aside as an emergency fund. You can also save up to buy a big-ticket item. When you have saved up sufficiently you can also invest and build your wealth.


What are the other important things to teach our children about money? Share with us.

7 Tips to Avoid your Children from Taking Drugs

According to a newspaper report, youths in Malaysia between 14 and 16 and for some even much younger have their first experience of drugs and here are the findings in 2009 about drug addicts:

What can you do to avoid your children from taking drugs? Here are the 7 tips:


1. You don’t smoke so that nobody at home is smoking. It is this bad habit of smoking that leads to drug-taking.

2. Help your children to choose friends wisely. It is also important for parents to find out more about your children’s acquaintances.

3. Do not expect too much from your children, let them grow up and be happy at their own pace.

4. Promote regular exercise among children to relieve stress.

5. Children can be curious but they should not touch drugs. They can gain knowledge by reading books or finding out more on the Net.

6. Spend quality time with your children, when they face problems they will turn to you easily.

7. Love your children so that they feel wanted and they know that home is the place to find comfort, warmth, and solace.

F.A.M.I.L.Y. Way to Bring Up Your Children

Do you know the F.A.M.I.L.Y. way to rear your children? Just read the following:


Fun: Are you having fun with your children? Once in a while you have to forget your parents’ role and just be their partners and joint them in their fun-filled activities. It is an excellent way to be close to them so that they will easily open up to you when the need arises.

Attention: Listen attentively to your children when they talk to you. They just want to tell you what has happened in school or to air their grievances. They just want someone to share their happiness and sorrow. So be earful

Motivation: Instead of applying pressure on your children to do well in school, motivate them to make personal progress. Congratulate them for their effort and improvement and never compare your children with others. Do not demand that they must get straights A’s but encourage them to do their best.


Inquisitiveness: Demonstrate to your children the good habit of reading to develop the inquisitiveness to know more and the quest for knowledge. Reading books at home instead of watching TV is the best way to set a good example for your children to follow. Cultivate a love for books while your children are still young. This indispensable and valuable habit will last a lifetime.

Love: Shower your children with love because they are your children and not because they excel in their study or they are handsome or pretty. Show your unconditional love to them so that they feel safe and wanted. This will promote a healthy growth in your children.

Youthful: Are you active? Do you lead an active lifestyle? Show your children that you exercise every day in order to be healthy and fit. Your children will definitely follow your healthy habit. This is the best thing you can do for your children.


When you look after them well they will also show their affection to you in a F.A.M.I.L.Y. way:

Father And Mother I Love You

5 Gifts for Your Child

Top 5 gift you can give your kids

"Parents with their words, attitudes, and actions possess the ability to bless or curse the identities of their children." Craig Hill, The Power of a Parent's Blessing

There are five valuable gifts that you can give to your child and the usefulness of the gifts will last him or her a lifetime. Here are the five gifts:


1.  First gift – Cultivate a disciplined lifestyle: Inculcate a healthy habit of early to bed and early to rise. Be hygienic and follow a routine of regular exercise. Avoid junk food. Complete it on the same day as and when the homework is given by the teachers. The earlier the habits are formed the better it is for your child in the long run.

2. Second gift – A love for books: Help your child to form the habit of regular reading. A quest for knowledge will develop in him or her a capability of imagination and creativity. This is a fast-moving world. What you have learnt now could be obsolete in three to five years. The only way to catch up is to adopt a habit of continuous learning. Set a good example by reading at home instead of watching TV. Don’t expect your child to develop a reading habit when you are glued to the TV set all night long.

3.  Third gift – Learn to lead and to be led: Encourage your child to mix with children of different age groups. Allow him a chance to lead and to be led so that he can learn how to get along with others and be connected. To lead and to be led means learning how to express and listen. The future of your child is about relationships and connections. When you are in different groups you play different roles. In a younger group, you are the leader and in an older group, you are an order taker.

4. Fourth gift – An appreciation of nature: Nowadays our children have lost touch with nature. They are occupied with homework and tuition indoor and when they are free they are glued to the monitor surfing the net and playing computer games. To develop a healthy and fit body, get your child to be outside more often to discover the wonders of nature. It is also beneficial to breathe in the fresh air and play under the sun in order to release stress

5. Fifth gift - Parent’s love: The most precious gift that a child can have is the tender loving care of his or her parents. It ensures healthy growth in your child psychologically. He or she feels that they are wanted and cared for and they feel safe and warm at home.


These are the best gifts that you can give to your child

5 Things the Teacher Wants Your Daddy and Mummy to Do

Teacher

‘Teachers have three loves: love of learning, love of learners, and the love of bringing the first two loves together.’–Scott Hayden

Helping the teachers at school is helping your child to attend classes every day smoothly and successfully. What does the teacher expect you to do? Here are five things:


1. Respect the teacher: How do you show respect to the teacher? Send your child to school on time, duly sign and return documents as requested by the teacher, and make sure that they are in the school bag. Notify the teacher early when your child cannot attend school on a particular day. When you come face to face with the teacher say hello and talk to the teacher mindfully. You are only talking to the teacher, who attends to your child for many hours in a day, just for a few seconds.

2. Appreciate the hard work of the teacher: Show your appreciation to the teacher from time to time especially when your child is making progress at school. A word of thanks will motivate the teacher and make him or her happy in their work. A teacher‘s job is about passion and patience. Your kind gesture will make the teacher more patient to the students and love them.

3. Communicate with the teacher more often: Allow the teacher to understand your child’s family background. As an example, it is the responsibility of the parents to inform their teacher about certain abnormal behavior of your child. Providing more information for the teacher means that the teacher is able to understand your child better. Talk to the teacher, say, about your child's progress in singing or piano lessons. It is to allow him or her to manage your child more effectively. Meet the teacher or chat over the phone to get connected

4. Have trust in the teacher and be cool-headed always: Teachers respect parents who are able to listen attentively to their suggestions, especially when there is bad news to convey. You do not know what your child has done at school. If the teacher speaks to you about his or her misbehavior, do not be emotional or try to tell the teacher that you know better about your own child or demand to see the headmaster for the matter. Do not take a hostile stand against the teacher. The teacher is trying to communicate and make you understand the situation. Be patient and listen to his or her views first and then you speak your mind. In this way, it tells the teacher that you respect him or her and you are willing to consider their stand.

5. Participate actively in your children’s school activities: According to research when you wholeheartedly take part in the school activities of your child he or she is less likely to be undisciplined. It is a sign that you support the school and it is a motivation for the teachers. How do you involve in your child's education? First and foremost ensure the completion of daily homework by your child. Encourage your child to enroll in extracurricular activities of the school. Join PTA and attend meetings to communicate and understand the school system.


Some simple things to do but they mean a lot to the teachers at school. Facilitate the teachers to allow your child to learn happily at school.

How to be a Super Daddy

Super Daddy

"As a father, you must have the mindset that being a dad is your most important job." Mark Merrill


When you ask this question you will get many answers, but it all boils down to LOVE.
Here is my list of a super dad and you are welcome to add more to the list:


• He does not bring work back but come home just to look after the children.
• He talks to the children and finds out things that have happened at school.
• He eats dinner with the children and chats with them.
• He exercises with the children outdoor to promote health and fitness,
• He encourages the children to do their best at school but does not ask them to compete with others.
• He acts as a tutor to help them out in their homework and teach them more about lessons in life.
• He is fair to all his children.
• He takes them to the mall even just for window shopping to enjoy an evening together.
• He sets good examples like not smoking instead of preaching.
• He may be a daddy but he is friendly and approachable.
• He is the driver to the children.
• He is the walking dictionary to the children.
• The children relate to their father what they have learnt in class.
• He is the logistical planner on a busy Sunday when the children are engaged in various activities.
• He prepares a simple but nutritious breakfast such as perfect half-boiled eggs for the children before they go to school.
• He monitors the posting of children on their blogs to make sure that personal information is not disclosed.
• He does reading at home instead of watching TV so that the children are influenced by his habit to cultivate a love for books.
• He gives out pocket money at the beginning of every month to encourage financial planning. They have to budget their spending to last until the end of a month. They have to set aside and accumulate an amount monthly if they wish to purchase a big ticket item for themselves.
• He takes a proactive step to provide safety guidelines online and offline for the children

Effective Ways to Promote a Healthy Growth of Your Child

Support your child's healthy growth and development

“Good parents hardly parent. They let their kids learn, fail and grow without interference.”
― Trevor Carss

To promote the healthy growth of your child means to provide psychological and physical stimulants

Here are the ways to do it:


Psychological

Love: Your unconditional love for your child will assure him that he is accepted and cared for. He feels safe and assured when his parents pay attention to him.

Motivation: Your child needs your kind and caring words. Before an examination, you can encourage him just by telling him to do his best. When he does well, praise him for his effort in getting good results. Motivation is the best way to boost his self-confidence

Family environment: Peace and quiet at home are conducive to the positive development of your child. It is especially so when the tie between husband and wife is strong. Spend quality time with your child. When you are close to him he will not hesitate to talk to you whenever he has a problem

A sense of achievement: Achievements provide positive reinforcement of your child’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Identify and highlight to him whenever he has accomplished something. Encourage him to perform better but not to compete with others. This is to avoid applying pressure on your child

Be connected: Encourage him to socialize in order for him to learn about relationships He will have a sense of belonging when he is been accepted as one in the group.


Physical
Physical development: A balanced development in your child means agility and flexibility in body movement. Encourage him to take part in physical activities to develop his bodily capabilities.

The habit of regular exercise: The best way to do it is to do it together. Get your child to join you when you go for jogging or other forms of exercise. It is a good habit to build up his fitness in the long run.

Spend outdoor often: Instead of surfing the net or networking at social networking sites try to spend time outdoor more often. Fresh air and sunshine will build him up physically.

Well-nourished: Making sure that your child does not skip breakfast, the most important meal in a day. Always have a fixed time for each meal. Promote eating more fruits and vegetables. Explain to your child that fast food is bad for health and discourage the consumption of food and drink with high sugar content.


A total and healthy growth of your child consists of psychological and physical development. Healthy growth means a solid foundation for him to excel academically.